Surrender to God
Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” (Matthew 16:24-27)
Have you ever thought about “the moment”? The specific point in time in which you were awoken by the touch of God. For me, I am transferred back to that exact space and my senses come alive.
I can see the room. The lighting is dim as the sun sets. The reflection from the TV casts a glow on the face of Leo as he lay in his bed in front of it. The smell lingered in the air from the preparations of dinner that had occurred only hours before. I can envision me standing beside Leo’s bed. Leaning over him as I adjust his pillows that properly supported his rigid frame. Stepping back, I confirmed that his positioning was all aligned. I caressed his smooth full cheeks and noticed him gazing past me.
I turned to look over my shoulder, yet saw nothing. As I fixed my eyes back on him I noticed a transformation occurring within him. Leo’s body relaxed and a glow of purity cast over his skin as all blemishes began to diminish. Lost for a moment in my own thoughts, I shake myself to the reality of what I was actually seeing. I then asked, “What are you looking at, Leo?”
“I See Jesus.”
This was my moment of surrender. This was my yes to God. I could see clearly that I was not in this fight alone. I was awoken by the ultimate Guide. I was beginning to see the true meaning of love. Willingly letting go of my son, to the Son. It was at this moment that I picked up the shield of God’s love. Placed my trust in Him, and allowed God to protect my heart.
It is often stated that the loss of a child has to be one of the most painful things to endure. As a mom of four sons, I don’t only imagine this to be true, but know it to be. Letting go of one child removes a piece of you, leaving your heart to beat without the same rhythm. Letting go of two children, strips your body of strength, leaving you weary. As you try to regain the flow of life, hoping to have it pump back through you, it can only be filled by One thing – Jesus. Without the help from the One and only true Healer, my heart would never have been able to withstand the loss of two children.
It was the Son of God that revived my broken heart. It was the blood that He shed that flowed through me and kept me alive. It was the grace and mercy of Jesus that gave me the ability to not cling to what was lost. Unclenching my grip, I was able to let go of what I wanted to hold onto. Ultimately, releasing my precious boys into the embrace of our loving Father.
Where in your own life can you relinquish control? What are you able to let go of to have a genuine encounter with the living God? Surrendering is not an act of weakness. Quite the contrary, you will gain strength when you surrender to Him. It is knowing His love that will give you the ability to give and receive real love. Say yes to Jesus and watch how your life is transformed and filled with joy.
